An Imaginary Interview with a Typical S.L.C. Student
Student. What the hell do you mean by that?
Me. Just hello.
Student. It's not a test or any thing?
Student. Are you sure?
Student. Oh, well, hello- I suppose.
Me. I wonder if you could tell me what you like most about St. Lawrence?
Student. The holidays.
Me. Apart from that.
Student. The lounge out side the biblioteque.
Me. And is there any thing you don't like?
Student. Are you going to write this in the paper?
Student. Well in that case listen. I hate the way they treat us like kids in this place. I mean it really gets on my fucking nerves. Who the hell do they think they are any way? Treat us like God damn kids they do; like little iddy biddy kids.
Me. What's your favourite leisure activity.
Student. Watching "Passe Par Tout" and flying my kite.
Me. I thought so. Now then, how many students do you think it takes to screw in a light bulb?
Student. Are you sure this isn't a test?
Student. And you won't put any of this in the paper?
Me. None. I promise.
Student. Well let me tell you something: I never did understand those light bulb jokes. What do they mean?
Me. They just mean that you're not bright enough to understand them, that's all.
Student. Oh. But what does that mean?
Me. Listen, do you believe that St Lawrence's image as a college extraordinaire is in any way true?
Student. Yes and no.
Me. What do you mean?
Student. Yes, I think it is true, but no, I don't believe it.
Me. Okay. The last question: Do you feel able, at your age, and being fresh out of High School as you are, to make the career choice our educational system demands of you, which, accordingly, means the classes chosen are representative of that single well defined goal expected of you? Or have you, contrary to the conservative norm, more a desire to sample many different aspects of the human experience and a real yearning to unwrap the gift of education for its own sake? In other words have you put all your eggs in the same basket.
Student. No I haven't.
Me. Why not?
Student. My mother does all the shopping.